Gatorade Over My Head

One of the most criticised men I have ever known was, my former pastor, Terry Fields (Liberty Heights Church, West Chester, Ohio). He told me something in the midst of a firestorm of unjust criticism. He said, "Doc, there's a grain of truth in every criticism."

My personality (Sanguine or High I) loves to be loved. You could tell me something is hanging out of my nose, save me from utter embarrassment, and hurt my feelings in the process. My dream is to have Gatorade poured over my head, everyday, when I come into work, when I leave work, when I go home, and when I leave home.

Most people who boldly announce "I don't care what anybody thinks," has two issues. First, it is not a virtue, "not to care what anybody thinks." I am around a lot of people that, not only do I care what they think, but I benefit when they tell me, even when it hurts. Second, everybody cares on some level about what people think. So there, you just told a lie to yourself and other people. The loud mouth, who claims he doesn't care is compensating for his deeped seated insecurities (take that Dr. Phil, you got nothing on me. I don't care what you think).

So learn from your critics. Ask yourself, "Is there even a grain of truth in their criticism?" Would'nt that be a great way to put it in the face of your unfair critics? Let their criticism cause you to raise your game! A Gatorade bath may come your way soon. Ah, sweet dreams!

When a person gets to spend the day in Columbia with movement makers Tim Shull, Ronny Byrd, Andre Rogers, Neal McGlohon, Chris Ruppe, John Sharp, Kermit Morris, Ron Barker, and Marshall Fagg, and call it a work day, he is blessed. Nothing gets me dreaming about new landscapes than these guys. I saw a different aspect of the heart of God who wants to transform people and their environments. Columbia today, coaching and catching up.

Lessons From A Frozen Bananna

My hand hurts really bad all because of a frozen banana.. I am not ready to write the book, All I ever needed to know I learned from a frozen banana, but it is an experience that keeps on giving.

People who have the joy of stabbing themselves in the kitchen can't really tell about it without having to use a word we don't like our kids to use. Stupid! Stupid banana. Stupid knife. Stupid blender. Stupid smoothie. Stupid kitchen. Stupid hand. I would not have to tell the story except for the stupid bandage and stupid stitches that broke open again yesterday. I wish I would have jammed the knife somewhere that I could clothe comfortably.

In all my wisdom, here is my list of lessons, so far, from a frozen banana:

1. Don't freeze a banana with the peel
2. When you freeze a banana with the peel, thawing it doesn't fix the problem.
3. When you freeze a banana with the peel, there is no way to peel it.
4. A knife will not peel a frozen banana no matter how hard you bare down
5. A knife will not peel a frozen banana whether you cut toward your left hand or away from it.
6. Even though it won't work, at least cut your frozen banana away from your left hand.
7. Persistence may do more harm than good, at least in the world of frozen bananas.
8. Frozen bananas can complicate life.
9. My stupid hand hurts really bad, as I write this, because of a frozen banana.
10. Frozen bananas make my wife cry, when she drives me to urgent care for stitches.

I am thinking you can use Dino, frozen banana, or banana interchangeably any place on the above list. I know Yvette can. Anyways, be careful today, remember persistence is not always a virtue, and if you happen to stab yourself in the hand on the journey better figure out a way to turn it into a smile.

In Columbia today with movement makers. Hung out with Dustin, Neal, Chris, and the Midtown gang yesterday. The Cypress Project. Vision Carolina. I can see it from here.

Rock Bottom???

I married a supermodel, have an incredible job, won the lottery, am ready to travel the world and I also just found God. Jason Smith of All Night on ESPN is probably not a theologian. He made a good point, however, commenting on Michael Vick's apology. Few people find God at the top.

"Rock Bottom" is common language in the Alcoholics Anonymous subculture where apologies are common, but true life change is not. I spent most of the 90's leading and sitting in A.A. groups in New Orleans.

I learned a ton listening to people work through 12 steps to recovery. I learned that true Rock Bottom is when someone has destroyed enough of their lives that they stop playing games. They make a real commitment to God and recovery. I also learned the sad part, when you think you are there, you probably are not. One reason people change is that they hurt enough that they have to.

Is Michael Vick at true Rock Bottom? I hope so, for his sake. Time will tell. Would make a great story wouldn't it? In the mean time, for the Christ follower, change is to what we are about (Rom. 12:1-2). Playing games is not welcome here. The heart of the matter is change. And change is good, you go first :).

Great conversations yesterday with movement makers, Neal McGlohon, Kermit Morris, Marshall Fagg, Robert Emory, James Orr, Eddie Cox, Marcos Elizondo, Samuel Rodriguez, Gary Reincke about coaching, and Roger Orman. Looking forward to another great day at the home base in Columbia today. Vision Carolina is on the agenda and more great conversations.

Amazing, Incredible Sarah

Anna's friend, Sarah, rode to Carolina Springs Middle School the morning of the broken leg and day of the sliced hand (8/23). When she talked, she sounded just like her mother. Not a bad thing at all. Not unheard as kids grow up. But Sarah had a unusual case.

Articulation, rhythm, and even thought processes all sounded like mom. I was startled as I listened. The similarities were uncanny at least. Amazing was another word I was thinking. I expected to look in the review mirror and realize I was the victim of a joke (not unlikely if you know daddy Cockrell).

The issue began years ago - more than 11 -- DNA and environment were key factors. At first Sarah heard a faint, far away voice. Upon birth it became more distinct. As Sarah grew the voice and person of Karissa, her mother, became even more influential and comprehensible. Without noticing Sarah evolved into this incredible likeness of Karissa. Hours upon hours. Days upon days. Time together, talking, listening, growing, learning.

You thinking what I am thinking? I have been next to God now since before my second birth . . . over 40 years ago. I wonder. . . I hope. . . Has anyone ever had to look in the review mirror as I rode in their back seat, because of this uncanny, amazing, you know, the articulation, rhythm, and even thought processes . . .

Coaching day today in Columbia. Spent quality time with movement makers yesterday. Movement makers are Kingdom leaders who think beyond themselves. They create environments where God works biggest and best.

Hub Blankenship, Eddie Cox, Steve Davis, Phillip Lee, Richard Swift, Ronny Byrd, Marshall Fagg, and Jim Austin were all around the table wrestling with tough issues. Honored to be at the table. Glad they were there too.

Why I Wear Hats

If a man's secret thoughts were written on his forehead he would never remove his hat. Writing has never been so fun for me. My latest web log will never make me famous. I think you have to be famous first, then your web log makes you famous - er when you say controversial stuff. Out loud thoughts have made me look for God in everyday life. I find Him more now. Thanks for reading.

As I ponder this current wave of sports star scandals . . . Barry Bonds, Michael Vick, Tim Donaghy (NBA ref) . . . I am amazed at the self-righteousness that oozes out of us. Human growth hormone, dogs, and meaningless sporting events (unless you gamble on them) become prominent, while we Pharisees neglect weightier matters.

Things make me mad too, and I do watch, attend, and listen to meaningless sporting events. At the place of my "righteous indignation" however, lies my own life of inconsistencies. I am an expert other people's sins. I wax eloquent about why they are evil often not self-aware enough to see an incredibly large log, sticking out of my eye.

If a man's secret thoughts were written on his forehead, he would never remove his hat. That statement will stay on my mind for a while. Every time I wear one of my favorite hats(we bald guys really do love those things), I will feel uncomfortable. What if my secret thoughts were written on my massive forehead? I will pull my hat down as tight as possible. I will thank God that the One who knows me best loves me most. I will give people space for grace and out for logs close to my face.

In Columbia today. Catch up week. Preached at WRC yesterday . . . first in a new series "Coached by Jesus." I will give you some bits and pieces this week.

What Would Jesus Say to Michael Vick?

What is the future of Michael Vick? Another ESPN radio rant . . . Will he play again? Will his skills diminish? Will anyone even give him a chance? Canada? The Arena Football League? The NFL?

Not sure how sorry Michael is for abusing dogs. I'll bet he is sorry for something. Full of regrets. Hurting. Feeling stupid. People have done much worse - but I won't go there. Not one of those kind of blogs. People have done worse than fix NBA basketball games. But I won't go there. People have done worse than commit adultery (John 8).

People need two things to live up to their potential - Grace (thank you very much) and Hope (my hand hurts as I type, but it is August 24). What would Jesus say to Michael Vick? Go (take a new step in a new direction) and sin no more (you do can do it with me, you have a future and a hope). Who else today, in Georgia, in the U.S. or in the world would say that to Michael Vick? He needs to hear it from Jesus. "That woman" in John 8:11 needed to hear it. Donaghy needs to hear it. Clinton, Senesi, etc. all need to hear it.

Timeouts are not accidents. I have work to do, but am at home in Columbia today nursing my hand and Anna's broken leg. Look what the Lord has done for me. A clearing in traffic (see Uncle Bert Was Not My Uncle 8/23).

Good Night, August 23, 2007

When is 3 stitches in your hand no big deal? When your daughter starts the day by breaking her leg. I ended the day at the same place Anna started her day. Nice people, BTW.

Ever Broke Your Leg On Day #2 of Middle School?

NEWS FLASH - Anna, my sweet 11 year old, as of this morning, can raise her hand and say yes. In a late for school hurry she fell on the bottom step and broke her leg. Wow. We have been hanging out with doctors all day today. She will tell this story when she is old and gray. Please pray for her when you remember.

Don't want to debrief too fast. Way too much to learn. But when my dad had surprise by-pass in 1998, I discovered right away, that catastrophes present gifts of time together that would have otherwise never happened. For 11 year old girls with long dark hair named Anna, they also provide lots of love and mid-day chocolate peanut butter smoothies that would otherwise have never been tasted! Not worth a broken leg on day #2 of middle school, but not a bad consolation prize either!

Michael Vick Walked Off A Cliff

Did anyone ask Michael Vick what he was thinking? Reports yesterday alleged he had been involved in dogfighting since 2001. Could that large an operation have gone unnoticed? I listened to ESPN radio yesterday as that question became the rant of the day.

No question, people had to know. Why didn't they confront? People may have asked the question, "Michael, man, what are you thinking?" But not many . . . some assumed it would not matter, others were afraid he would get angry, even others did not want to get involved. So, they watched a gifted and influential young man walk off a cliff.

One of those gifts in my life, my pastor, Bill Howard, challenged me with this idea. He was the first. We were in a men's group fretting over a hard conversation with someone about stupid choices they were making. Bill asked us, "Are you going to let them walk off a cliff because you are afraid to say something?" His question haunts me as I battle with my desire to be liked and my fear of being wrong . . . as I watch people I love walk off cliffs. What a life of contradictions!

"Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear (Proverbs 25:12)."

Intensive Church Planter Training 807 is history http://www.icpt807.blogspot.com/. What fun! The best part was the stories of life change that are happening right now. Vision Carolinas is the power of God re-landscaping communities through life change (Isaiah 55:13). I can see more clearly now, God's future. Stay tuned.

What Was He Thinking?

Tim Donaghy decided cheating made sense. He influenced the outcome of NBA games he officiated. I read court documents that described the detail and precision necessary to carry out his plan. The behavior looked so ugly in black and white.

In Jeremiah 17:9, the Lord told one of His top assistants, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked (incurably sick); Who can know it?" Paul referred to his life as one "full of contradictions" (Romans 7, MSG).

I am really good an assessing . . . other peoples' oversights, insensitivity, and stupid judgement. One day I will get better at assessing my own. Yvette tells me, at times, it is worse than I think. And Yvette is nice about it.

What was Tim Donaghy thinking? What was Michael Vick thinking? What was Eve thinking? What about David? Moses? The woman caught in the "very act" of adultery? The Apostle Paul and his "life of contradictions?" Not sure, but I do have tremendous potential to screw up my life and the lives of people who love me. I need to surround myself with honest people. People who love me enough to ask me an all important question: "What are you thinking?"

Great day of training planters in Rock Hill yesterday. Too many movement makers to list but if interested see http://www.icpt807.blogspot.com/. Final day today. My Anna starts Carolina Springs Middle School today. Yvette , Anna, and Abby are all in brand new schools this year. My girls are up for some challenges. I wish it were still summer time. Summer '07 will go down one of the greatest. No kidding. Stay tuned.

Uncle Bert Was Not My Uncle

He was one of those people, however. You know, a gift from God who made a difference, as my car sped past him. He loved God and loved the youth of the church. No, he was not the "chewing gum guy." He did give me a book once. I knew Uncle Bert was real with God.

Uncle Bert was obsessed with having people pray for the young people at our church. He prayed for us. I think it mattered. He lived to be very old.

One episode with Uncle Bert is clear in my mind. I was riding in his car one day. A white Ford of some sort. We were riding through heavy traffic. He was old at the time. I never knew Uncle Bert when he wasn't old. He came to an intersection that was busy. He was a bit nervous and so was I. Suddenly, the traffic cleared. He said, "look what the Lord did for me." He wasn't joking. He meant it. You know what I think. I think God did that for Uncle Bert.

I learned something that day. God cares for people enough to clear traffic for them. What a small detail, for the God of the universe . . . to clear traffic for an old guy like Uncle Bert.

On second thought, did God clear traffic for Uncle Bert? Or, did God clear traffic for a little boy who was trying to learn how He worked? Or, did God clear traffic for you, so that 30 or 40 years latter, you could read this story? What traffic will God clear for us today?

At North Rock Hill Church today. Thinking about vision and cypress trees. Involved in Intensive Church Planter Training. Ten participants representing a possible five new churches. Enjoying the friendship of movement makers. Regular cast members include Neal McGlohon, Chris Ruppe, Kermit Morris, Hub and Brenda Blankenship, John Sharp, Eddie Cox, Abi Elrod. They get it. So do the ten that are here.

Pastors Who Won't Go Away

Fred Billings was my first pastor. I remember who he was, not what he said. He loved me. He baptized me. I wanted to watch Dallas Cowboy football games with him. He was different but fun. Leslie Bruce was my second pastor. He cared enough about me to say hard and unpopular things at a significant time in my life.

Carl Nelson wanted me to preach at his church (Little Doe Freewill Baptist Church, Hampton, Tn) which I did, at age 15. He told his people to put money in my hand going out the door after I preached one Sunday. And they did.

Tommy Oaks was the one I wanted to be like the most. He wore jeans and athletic shoes. He told jokes when he preached and had haunted houses in the church basement, for fun. His passion for Jesus was obvious.

Ron Herrod, Ron Owens, Jerry Davis, Terry Fields, and Bill Howard, all have had incredible influence on me as my fast moving car sped beside them. From my first memories of Fred Billings (1965) to my numerous coaching and counseling conversations with Bill Howard (2002 to the present) God sent them. All along the road, various exits and detours, the one I needed at the time was there. Sounds like God, doesn't it?

We kick them in the teeth, question their motivation, criticise their preaching, and ask why they cannot do more and be better. A huge deal is made about the few who stumble while the 1000's who get the job done are ignored. Yet they never stop appearing along the road.

Dinosaurs couldn't handle the changes of time or the abuse of man. They became extinct. Pastors keep coming . . . from the Lord. Say hello to yours today, if you have one. Let me help you find one if you don't. Pray for him. Slip him a $20.00. No kidding. He is a gift from the Lord.

John Waters is a missionary. I ate lunch with him on Daniel Island Friday. He knew waitresses (Grace and Tara) and business owners (Mike and Dana) in great detail. He told me all about them. We prayed for them and with them. None of them had ever met a man who cared for them like John. I just know it. John is a movement maker. Training planters Monday in Rock Hill. Stay tuned.

My Car Ran Into A Power Lifter

Raymond was his name. He was a young man at the time (1972) although he seemed old to me. I was in the eighth grade. Raymond liked me because I was on his football team at Valley Forge Elementary School. I was a chubby eighth grader who wanted to move from guard to fullback.

It's trendy now to say faith and life are the same thing. No doubt, it is a sad commentary about we Christ followers -- that a guy could stand up at a meeting and impress us when he says something so basic to Biblical Christianity.

For Raymond, faith and life were the same. Up to that point in my journey I had met a lot of people that knew Jesus and followed him. Raymond loved and appreciated Jesus. I never went to church with Raymond. I don't remember where he went to church.

Raymond would chase me down in the summer. He would drive his jeep to my house. I dreaded seeing him come some days. Baseball in the backyard or fishing in the river behind my house was more fun.

He would take me to a dingy, dirt floor basement to power lift. Squats, bench press, and dead lifts were the order of the day. He was passionate about power lifting. We would lift and he would talk about his greatest passion. Not church . . . but Jesus. That was who Raymond was. That is who I wanted to be. Real men really do love Jesus.

I don't think I will be in my current ministry assignment for the rest of my life. Not because it is not fun. God never lets me get really comfortable. I squander comfort . I detest discomfort, but am at my best there. God is at his best for me there.

With movement makers yesterday in Spartanburg: Hub Blankenship, Jonathan Everett, and Kermit Morris - along with a future movement maker, Freddie, the waiter at Wild Wings. Freddie loves drama and football -- would be a star at Wofford except for an ACL injury (my words not his). Charleston today. Stay tuned.

Pop, Loaded Cigarettes, and Boog Powell

Pop was, well . . . quite parental in his approach to parenting. I needed, however, his parentalness (is that a word??). Warning: the following will sound preachy and a bit parental. As leaders, our drive to make people comfortable with us should not cause us to avoid an occasional "word to the wise." In life, ministry, and in my fast moving car, there are things to avoid and other things we should not sleep through.

Pop and I were huge baseball fans. Before the day of interstate driving our yearly 14 hour drive to Vineland brought us through downtown Baltimore. We drove through the night so I seldom saw downtown Baltimore. Pop would always wake me up to say, "I just saw Boog Powell (former first baseman, Baltimore Orioles, 1961-1977) hitch hiking when we drove through Baltimore. The car moves quickly, there are some things we should not sleep through.

Standing in Dino's Restaurant one night, my non-smoking dad offered me a cigarette and encouraged me to take a puff. I am not sure my age at the time but very young. As I strangled a puff down, the cigarette began to explode. The point? He wanted me to have a really a bad experience with a cigarette. That is the last time I had one. The car moves quickly, there are some things we should avoid.

Self-audit: What will you sleep through today? Who or what are you missing? What are you puffing on that is choking you and about to blow up in your face? What habit, hurt, or hang-up is doing damage to your relationship with God and others?

My conversations with movement makers yesterday: Greg Abrams (Lakepoint, Lexington); Tom Dalik (LifeNet House Church Network, Columbia); Richard Swift (Cedar Creek, Aiken); Eric Geiger (Christ Fellowship, Miami); Randy Fergueson (North American Mission Board); Steve Stewart (New Horizon, Lancaster). Off to Spartanburg today.

Atlanta Bread is on My Breath

Still processing God's gift of people in my life. Also processing my metaphor - "spitting out the window of my fast moving car. "

This summer I enjoyed my 30th high school reunion (Hampton Bulldogs, Hampton, Tenn. Class of '77) and my 25th Wedding Anniversary with Yvette. The old people used to say how fast it all goes. I used to snicker, under my breath of course, at such ramblings. I wondered why they insisted on living in the past - and never related the two -- until now. The car moves so fast that the past is not really past.

I live off exit 111, I-26 in Columbia. My favorite hang out, Atlanta Bread, is off exit 108. It takes about 2 minutes (depending on how submissive I feel) to go from one exit to the next -- Atlanta Bread is still clear in my mind and on my breath when I exit 111 to go home. Don't snicker at me for living off exit 108. The sites, the smell, and the experience happened a mere seconds ago.


I began eternal life when I was born. My engines started in Newcomb Hospital, Vineland, New Jersey, Tuesday, November 10, 1959 at 10:53 p.m. My life can barely be called a series of exits on an eternal journey. It's really only one. Depressed? Hardly! Energized more like it. Urgent for sure. Blessed. So teach us (Lord) to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom (Ps 90:12).

Yesterday was a day that did not go as planned. The car moved fast, but exited in a totally differently place. Enjoyed great conversations with movement makers Dr. Jim Austin, Ronny Byrd, Richard Swift, Bill Howard, Neal McGlohon, Kermit Morris, Greg Abrams, and others. Today Columbia, tomorrow Spartanburg, Friday Charleston. I think. Stay tuned.

Spitting Out the Window of a Fast Moving Car

I hesitate, a bit, to highlight gifts from God on my journey. I know I will leave people out. Predictably, I must begin with my Pop. He was relational almost to a fault. He owned an Italian Restaurant in East Tennessee that still bears the name "Dino's" on the front. He proudly displayed a sign outside, "first lasagna served in East Tennessee - 1963."

Dino Sr. was a local hero. Everybody loved him because he made everyone feel important. From a local kid named "Moe" with Downs Syndrome to future Minnesota Twins superstars like Kirby Puckett. They all loved Dino because Dino helped them feel love.

He made me feel love too. One day we were riding down the road pretty fast. I needed to spit and did not know what to do. He patiently, in great detail, described the fundamentals of spitting out the window of a fast moving car. He explained, demonstrated with impressive results, and then asked me to try. I don't know for sure how old I was. All I know is that I did it! Wow.

Yesterday while driving on Interstate 20 toward Augusta, Ga., at least 40 years later, I did it again. Quite impressive! Nobody saw it(I don't think). I did not teach anyone else. I did think about Pop though. He would be proud. He made a lifelong, profound difference in the life of his "pride and joy" his "baby boy" as he still calls me to this day. What a gift from God! My Pop.

In Columbia for a record second straight day today. Great conversations yesterday with pastors, planters, and friends. Still buzzing over the Vision Carolinas thing I believe God is up to. Neal, I think it involves new cypress trees. Meeting with some movement makers today. Seems like I am with them everyday now.

Gold Swords and Ed Koch

Look around you. Relationships are the stuff of life -- Gary Smalley called relationships the "gold sword" of influence in the hand of any man -- I say any man, woman, and child.

Ed Koch, former mayor of New York City, presented a picture I will never forget. He suggested you should envision a "100" on the forehead of everyone you meet today. His point? They could know up to 100 people who can help you get to the next level in your life.

Don't minimize the power of people. You need help! I need help! God offers help in unlikely places. I am going to blog in the days to come, about people God has used to help me. I hope it will cause you to remember and appreciate the gifts God has given you in people. Love to hear your story too.

Back in, of all places, Columbia, S.C. this week! Preached at my home church, Willow Ridge (Lexington, S.C. http://www.willowridgechurch.org/) yesterday. We finished our Summer School preaching series, with me addressing "The Book on Women." Was I brave? Led by God? Stupid? All of the above? I survived, learned new things, and appreciated the opportunity to serve.

Changeology 101 - Meet the New Homer

Homer - Well, aren't you going to ask me some of those fancy, smancy, powerful coaching questions, like what are some of my wins since our last talk? Underdog comes through! Woof, woof, woof!

Dino - Talk to me Homer

Homer - well . . . my team is together. Krusty the Clown knows a lot of people. Moe is good at starting stuff from scratch. Flanders is the positive happy guy. Lisa is good at making plans and designing stuff. What else do I need to do?

Dino - Great wins Homer. Different strengths, different gifts, different perspectives. What else do you need to do? I can't see what you see. What are your next steps?

Homer - I need to get Lisa to finish the plans. I need to talk to our neighbors, get materials together, schedule another team meeting . . .

Dino - Why don't you turn those ideas in to action plans and put deadlines on them? Here is a yellow pad to do some writing. Great job.

Homer - Woo Hoo! Underdog wins! Maybe that will be my next movie.

Debrief - What project or obstacle needs attention in your life? Who can help you take the next step? What resources do you need? Don't fly solo if you want to make real progress.

How do your feelings about yourself influence how fast you move forward? If you feel like an underdog go see the movie, Underdog. You will be inspired.

If you are at a progress bottleneck go high tech. Use a yellow note pad and give yourself some deadlines. I will be glad to buy you one!

In Orlando today at the Leadership Network Church Planting Learning Community with North Rock Hill Church. Dreaming about God touching the nations through the Carolinas.

Neal McGlohon (SCBC, Charlotte Network); Chris Ruppe and Ryan Allred (North Rock Hill Church); and Will Oswald (Charlotte North Fellowship) are forming an acceleration team to help keep moving forward. Blessed to be here. Amazed at the people God puts me in the room with. Visionaries, practitioners, -- wow!

Longer (from our wedding August 7, 1982)

Dear Yvette,

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean

Higher than any bird ever flew

Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens

I’ve been in love with you.

I’ll bring fires in the winters

You’ll send showers in the springs

We'll fly through the falls and summers

With love on our wings.
Through the years as the fire starts to mellow

Burning lines in the book of our lives

Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow

I’ll be in love with you.
Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean

Higher than any bird ever flew

Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heaven

I’ve been in love with you

I am in love with you.
(Originally recorded by Dan Fogleberg)

Forever,

D

Happy 25th Anniversery Yvette!

Dear Yvette (used by permission from Yvette),

We preachers love to start sentences with profound statements like “God knew.” Wow, go figure. The God of the Universe actually looked down from heaven, knowing something in advance. I can’t think of any other way to say it sweetheart. God knew exactly what I needed and gave me the greatest gift a human being could ever have beyond knowing Him. He gave me you.

The first time I saw you, with your distinct walk, going from the Milligan College cafeteria to the field house, I could not have possibly known what “God knew.” You were cute, I mean really cute, you know what I mean? You were sweet and so calm. So easy to please. God knew. You were patient and so comfortable to be around. God knew. You were fun. Your laughter still often rings through the rooms of our house late at night, making my life and our home a better place. You are the soft spot in my world. A peaceful place. God knew.

25 years. Old people used to have those anniversaries. Now us. How blessed I am among men! Bethany, Krista, Anna, and Abby, David, Owen, and even Cujo and Stitch -- all unique blessings in my life. None are like my beautiful sweetheart. She is in a class by herself. World class. No rivals. No replacements. And yes my dear, it just keeps getting better! God knew.

Happy 25! The best is yet to come!
I love you forever,

D

Is There Hope for Homer?

Pastor Chris Ruppe (North Rock Hill Church, Rock Hill, S.C.) gave a powerful picture of hope in a sermon I heard this summer.

Chris used the image of a person floating at sea on a raft, out of supplies, barely conscious, in the glaring heat. Suddenly, the lifeless body opens one eye and sees land. A bolt energy comes from no where! Up the person jumps, full of excitement, he begins to paddle, even though the sharks are still swimming around the raft. He has hope because he can see land.

Hope is what God gives us when we are near death - when we are out of energy and all our supplies. Hope is not a mirage. Hope is seeing land.

Hope is a half-dead traveler who opens one eye and sees someone dressing his wounds (Luke 10:34). Hope is a Jesus sighting in the middle of a terrible storm (Matt. 14: 24-33).

Hurts, habits, hang-ups are issues that cause us to lose hope. We float along, barely alive. A coach, mentor, or friend can help us see land. Get some help, now.

Thanks for the inspiration Kathy -- who commented, "if you can coach Homer there is hope for all of us," (Not sure if that was about me or Homer). I will have another conversation with Homer on Thursday.

Wow, day #5 of our 25th wedding anniversary celebration. Every meal, every moment has been awesome! Hanging out with Yvette has never been sweeter!

Homer Simpson and the Weasel Effect

Homer - I think I don't want to do this coaching thing. I'm afraid you will yell at me. Trying leads to failure, I say the lesson is, never try.

Dino - Homer, are your trying to weasel out of some personal growth and accountability?

Homer - Things are not as bad as they seem, besides, weaseling out of things is important to learn. It is what separates us from the animals -- except for the weasel.

Dino - Let's go back to a possible project you talked about. Besides the donuts. You talked about using your wealth and influence to help someone else. Who needs help?

Homer - well, let's see . . . I'm thinking . . . Rev. Lovejoy and Flanders are busy, but they have lots of people to help them, you know the people who are afraid of going to hell.

Dino - Who else? What is something you can do?

Homer - Those kids in my neighborhood, seem to always be making trouble. They get yelled at all the time, lets see. . . . What if I built some skateboarding ramps?

Dino - What do you need to get started on the ramps?

Homer - Donuts . . . lots of hot, fresh, -- and help, because I'm not so good at building things, but I have lots of money.

Dino - How would you go about building a team to help you?
Could that be an action plan? Think through that and we can talk about your progress next time. One more question, on a 1-10 scale, how motivated are you to complete this project?

Homer - Woo hoo!!

Debrief: Why did Homer lack motivation? Why do people struggle with motivation?

I am in the middle of an incredible celebration with the lovely Ms. Yvette in Hilton Head today. Twenty-five years of marriage. The weather is rainy but we are highly motivated. We have been dreaming and planning for the future. Baggage can cloud your vision for the future. If some how by God's grace we can let go of the failures and disappointments of the past, the future is the most exciting place to be. Why? Because it is the place I have yet to fail! God's place. The place of my greatest potential.

I know what I am doing, I have it all planned out. Plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future. The future that you hoped for (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG)

Good Morning Homer Simpson

Homer - Why am I talking to you? I am a busy person you know.

Dino - I am your new life coach, contracted by Fox.

Homer - I hate football. All those pinheads at Fox think about is football. My football coach used to yell really loud at me, all the time. Ah, those were the days.

Dino - No, Homer, a life coach is not exactly like a football coach. A life coach helps bring out the best in you. A life coach helps you focus on your future. He helps you change to maximize your opportunities.

Homer - Change . . . I think I did that once . . . Some people never change. Other people change quickly and then they change back.

Dino - Homer, What's going well in your life today? Tell me about a win.

Homer - uh . . . I think my movie career. My movie is hot. Have you seen it yet. Numero uno. I rule!

Dino - Haven't seen it yet Homer, are you surprised at your success?

Homer - Well, I have always been a high achiever, you know, a leader of the pack, you know what I mean?

Dino - Kinda. No question you are a rock star. What would you like to work on in your life today?

Homer - Donuts, hot, fresh donuts.

Dino - More or less Homer? What would that look like to you?

Homer - Maybe less, can you believe some of my friends and family think I am selfish? After all I have done, I feel like they don't like me. I want to prove to them I can do something for someone else. You know, make Springfield a better place. You know, my wealth and influence to make other people feel good.

Dino - What would that look like to you?

Homer - Didn't you already ask that once? I need to take a break.

Debrief: Most people want to live a different kind of life. The major obstacle is that they have tried before and experienced a high degree of failure. The natural response is to stop trying to do things that are not working.

What would you like to work on today? What is your dream? Start now. Baby steps. Seek help.

Encourage someone to climb the mountain of change today. You will give them a great gift when you do. Imagine the possibilities! God really does change people (2 Cor. 5:17).

Homer's Life Coach

Since 2002, coaching has been a significant part of my life. Two great reads are Logan: Coaching 101 and Stoltzfus' Leadership Coaching. In a conversation with Bob Logan one day I told him, "Bob, I have incredibly sharp people around me, I am not sure I have the skills to lead them." My coaching IQ was pretty low at the time. With great passion Bob said "coaching, the answer is coaching!" At that point God fueled an exciting life-changing leg of the journey for me. As I faced my own flaws and dreams, along with the challenge of leading the leaders around me, coaching provided new hope.

So come with me. I am in a certification process, as we speak, through CoachNet. Let's take on a pretty tough case. Regardless of where you are in the journey of coaching let's work with my alter ego. He's hot right now. I have been contracted to coach Homer Simpson. Not sure of his motivation level. He does not necessarily qualify as a "high capacity leader." Or does he? Could there more under Homer's hood than we think? Do you see any potential? Weigh in with your ideas if you know him. We will have an introductory coaching conversation with Homer tomorrow.

The North American Mission Board (Southern Baptist mission resource agency for North America) summer meetings are winding down today. I came in with no expectations. My take is that a fresh wind is blowing through the leadership of new president Geoff Hammond. I see greater focus, passion, and commitment to reach North America. Change is good, you go first.