Thursday, June 5, 2008

Dad Regrets II - Kid Pain

Discomfort might sound less abusive than kid pain. Again, this may be so basic for some of you. It was not for me (or is not). All of us, I think, have certain blind spots. Remember, weaknesses are easily identifiable. You can't see blind spots, thus, the term, "blind" spots.

I was determined early in my children's lives that they would live in a pain-free environment. Several things helped me transition in my thinking. I was not as god-like as I thought.

Maybe it was when Abby was velcroed to a table at 2 years old to get her lip stitched. Maybe it was watching Anna's chronic preschool tantrums. Maybe it was watching Krista battle the teenage years. Or all of the above . . .

I think I hurt them. I hurt them by trying so hard to create a false, pain-free world. Not trying to be profound here but just pointing to a current reality: I am here to walk along side my children and help them process pain and disappointment. I am not here to take it away.

If I could take it all away, I shouldn't. If I could it would only be short-term, not lifelong. If I could I would not be fulfilling my real role as dad. Preparing them to live without me.

1 comment:

Cliff Marshall said...

Good stuff Dino. Makes me think about the environments I'm trying to create for my two.