You Are Not As Good As You Think

I try to encourage, but maybe today, you need a reminder that will bring out the best in you.

List what you think you are good at:

Marriage?
Parenting?
Communication?
Relationships?
Work Ethic?
Other?

Pick one of those areas. If you think you are pretty good, you have probably stopped growing. In spite of all of us needing: sniff, sniff, just a little word of encouragement, often a swift kick in the butt goes further.

What about the area of family relationships? Remember, you can buy your kids up to about age 11 or 12. You will be a hero, particularly if you can find Chuck E. Cheese. You can make your wife an action item on your to do list, and brag to others about your date nights. Take another look, those relationships need work. You are not doing as good as you think you are. I know I am not.

A Fly on the Wall - Most Difficult IV

I live drama. One benefit of joining Sons of Italy (national organization committed to preserving Italian culture) is for me to get in touch with my roots. For an Italian everything is dramatic. I can remember back in the day, when Grandma Senesi was living, everything, I mean everything, was a big deal.

Grandma would announce to the world that she was walking through the house to put her shoes on. Ben Gay (not a confession but an analgesic balm) was the cure for everything. The Puerto Ricans moving into to New Jersey were destroying her town. She hated signs in Spanish. Pretty interesting perspective from a person whose parents arrived to the U.S. on a boat, through Ellis Island, as opposed to a hospital in Jersey.

At my last Sons of Italy meeting I listened to a 15 minute argument over dinner from a man in his 80s and a woman in her 70s about how to prepare a particular recipe. I understand me a bit better now. No excuses, just tendencies. Not always wrong, but sometimes wrong.

One thing about me, that makes me a difficult person, is my tendency to overreact. A fly on the wall can be a controversy or a long discussion. Sometimes it gets me in trouble. I read a bunch into you saying, good morning D, are you having a good day? I walk away thinking, what did he/she really mean by that?

I don't have three steps to avoid overreacting on today's blog. Why? Because I don't know them. Maybe you have them. So where am I on the issue? More aware. That is my single point today. What tendencies get you in trouble? Start with the most obvious. You will find plenty of traction there!

I Am Who I Am, How Convenient!

Really? A Long time ago I picked up a book called, The Search for Significance. Robert McGee was the author. If you were to ask the 5 most influential books in my life other than the Bible Search would be on that list.

The premise of the book is that many of our beliefs are lies. When I confessed on Monday the most difficult person I had ever met was me, it was not a sign of concession. When I get to that point, I am sending a wrong message to the world about what God may be like. His very nature is to transform everything He touches.

Oh, one lie McGee wrote about is, I am who I am, I cannot change, I am hopeless. The church lady would say, how convenient! Lie as it may be, it also becomes an excuse to do nothing. No seeking God. No coaching, counseling, mentoring, honest conversations, accountability, prayer or bible study. No goals. Wow, I am getting sleepy just listing all the things missing from a life that has given up. I think I will take a nap now.

And The Winner is . . .

Well, let me stop the teasing. Don't get me wrong, I have people on the short list. The list of nominees for the most difficult person I ever met takes me on a walk down memory lane.

One person is clearly the winner, however. My sixth grade teacher deserves honorable mention. My eighth grade basketball coach is up there. My college baseball coach definitely makes the list. I met some people in New Orleans who gets in the top 10. Cincinnati had two. South Carolina has nominees.

I wonder if I made a list and interviewed each (of those still living). Did make their list? You have to think out loud a bit on this one. What came first?

BTW, you probably know by now, no false humility intended. The most difficult person I have ever met is me. I will tell you more tomorrow.

Anderson this week for a pastor's retreat. Great day yesterday. Willow Ridge http://www.willowridgechurch.org/ , Crossroads in Greer, dinner with Jay and Joanna Mitchell; Trey and Leslie Begin; and of course Kermit (that is his real name). All about church planting and changing the world. No small things.

The Most Difficult Person I Ever Met

Wow, I don't know where to start brainstorming. This feels like a therapist question. Not that there is anything wrong with that, right?

How about you? Who is the most difficult person you ever met? What did you do? I will tell you about the most difficult person I ever met, Monday.

Elephants and Coaching

Justin, an eight year old from San Diego, weighed in with his favorite elephant joke. How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? There are footprints in the butter!

We overuse the expression: there is an elephant in the room. Usually we mean there is something big and obvious being ignored.

Working through issues with the help of another person is a great asset of being coaching. The downside is that we can go so deep we miss the elephant footprints in the butter. So, what is the coaching question of the day? What obvious, very big, gray, wrinkly thing, with big flappin' ears do you need to work on? Start there. Let me know how it goes!

Rock Hill and Greenville today.

Movie Reviews - I Need to Get a Life!

Back off a blog vacation, and a record month of readers in June. One thing that happened in June for me: Movies! Do I need to get a life or what? My rating system has been influenced by Logan and Ridley's (long story, sorry for an insider reference) 0-5 church planter behaviorial rating system: 5 being the best movie in history; 4 being better than 80% of the movies, 3 - 60%; 2 - 40%; 1 - 20%;

1. Prince Caspian - In fear of sounding metrosexual I don't want to come right out and say this is not my kind of movie, uh, er, but . . . wait I am not supposed to say that. I like to step out of my genre in books, movies, restaurants etc. for the fun of it. So, I enjoyed the movie. Problem for me is, for the most part, you know how these deals will end. You are only there to see what it is going to look like and who might die (kind of like real life right?). I was not disappointed, I just needed more entertainment. My Assessment: 2.

2. Camp Rock - Some of the cheeziest dialogue in the history of movie making, particularly in the first 30 minutes, but I am good with the Jonas' phenom. The movie has good lessons about relationships, impressing the crowd, truthfulness, etc. Don't rush out to see this one, particularly if you don't have middle school kids. Don't worry, you will watch it. Big brother Disney will make you eventually. Although the music is not on par with High School Musical: My Assessment: 3 (due to strong character lessons).

3. The Bucket List - Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicolson are 2 of my favorite actors. Not predictable (real important to me). Almost cried at the end when Jack Nicolson kissed the most beautiful girl in the world and marked it off the list. I loved the movie. More cussin' however than a Baptist business meeting (both are rated PG-13) so I can't give it my full blessing. Sorry for being old school, but I do have a grief line on movie content that is important to me. There are some great moments though, including a couple if fascinating discussions about faith. My Assessment: 3.5 (some funny parts, strong lessons on making amends, living/dying, etc.).

4. Kung Fu Panda - What a great surprise! I do listen to the critics. I can't help it. Critics were giving this one a thumbs down. The lessons of persistence, courage, and determination were all there. Also, there was enough intensity to reel me in emotionally. That is another thing I want in a movie. If a movie does not take me to another place and time then I just wasted my time. This movie took me to another place, time, and culture. For horse racing fans I think that would be the trifecta, right? My Assessment: 4.o.

Columbia Today. Enjoying the most beautiful girls in the world, Summer travel, time at HQ, and teaching at Willow.

Root Canals, Kidney Stones, and Ripping Wall Paper

As I was ripping down wall paper Saturday I had a revelation of three painful experiences. They fit together nicely. These three experiences are not the worse things that could happen. However, they are three things that you hear people moan about.

I don't remember the first time I heard someone talk about a kidney stone. I assure you I felt their pain was overstated at the time. I am that way. A root canal is such a common painful experience it goes right there with a cold toilet seat and hot pizza cheese stuck to the roof of your mouth as the gold standard of pain.

I googled how to rip wall paper. It helped. I talked to the nice ladies at Lowe's. They made nice suggestions. With the help of my most lovely, Yvette, we got it done. I am glad the room was small. Ripping wall paper is a different kind of pain, but maybe along with working tobacco, hauling hay, or hanging sheet rock, another gold standard for agony.

What hurts today? What frog do you dread eating? Our pain is the raw material that can be used by our Father to make our heart into His. Don't go it alone. Talk to me. Check with the nice ladies at Lowe's. We have either experienced your pain or know someone that has.

Cola today. Headquarters. Digging out from a week at IHOP, no I meant IOP Bryan.