You Are Looking At Yourself!

Abigail caught me two weeks ago, in Wal-Mart parking lot. I caught a brief reflection of myself as we walked by a parked car. I had, as they call it in the romance novels, a lingering glance at someone. A romantic glance? Did you throw up, just a little bit, in the back of your throat. She said, Daddy you are looking at yourself.

A glance is a glance. A glance will never make a difference. A glance will never tell the truth. At a glance I saw what I wanted to see. The high parts. The mountain peaks. I was embarrassed when Abby caught me. I need to either take a longer look, or stop looking. Bottom line. You too.

A Fly on the Wall - Most Difficult IV

I live drama. One benefit of joining Sons of Italy (national organization committed to preserving Italian culture) is for me to get in touch with my roots. For an Italian everything is dramatic. I can remember back in the day, when Grandma Senesi was living, everything, I mean everything, was a big deal.

Grandma would announce to the world that she was walking through the house to put her shoes on. Ben Gay (not a confession but an analgesic balm) was the cure for everything. The Puerto Ricans moving into to New Jersey were destroying her town. She hated signs in Spanish. Pretty interesting perspective from a person whose parents arrived to the U.S. on a boat, through Ellis Island, as opposed to a hospital in Jersey.

At my last Sons of Italy meeting I listened to a 15 minute argument over dinner from a man in his 80s and a woman in her 70s about how to prepare a particular recipe. I understand me a bit better now. No excuses, just tendencies. Not always wrong, but sometimes wrong.

One thing about me, that makes me a difficult person, is my tendency to overreact. A fly on the wall can be a controversy or a long discussion. Sometimes it gets me in trouble. I read a bunch into you saying, good morning D, are you having a good day? I walk away thinking, what did he/she really mean by that?

I don't have three steps to avoid overreacting on today's blog. Why? Because I don't know them. Maybe you have them. So where am I on the issue? More aware. That is my single point today. What tendencies get you in trouble? Start with the most obvious. You will find plenty of traction there!

Ramblings of a Former Devil

Halloween doesn't scare me like it once did. I am not sure if that's good or bad. When I was a kid, growing up in East Tennessee, I was an avid trick-or-treat participant. My first costume I remember was of Old Slewfoot. Yeah, that's right, I dressed as the devil. I can't say for sure that an eight-year-old, future preacher, dressed like Satan, trying to intimidate the neighbors for candy, was harmless.

Yvette wonders if I have recovered. I still dig the old devil mask out to terrify her with my rants. I don't have my childhood mask. I am talking about the metaphorical mask www.dictionary.com/. I know that is a bit deep. I feel much better now that blog readers know my secret.

I took Abby and Owen (my two-year-old rock star grandson) trick-or-treating in my neighborhood last night. My favorite son-in-law, David was with us. Owen was dressed in an army uniform, Abby was a bat. I was dressed in Uncle Tom's Philadephia Eagles sweatshirt. Brian Plyler thought I would make a great Ghandi. I resisted his advice.

I understand the roots of Halloween. I have old sermon outlines that exposes the evil. I am different now. Krista (21) never went trick-or-treating much. Evil is nothing to be joked about. That is the way I felt then. My mind has not changed. I am not smarter. I just rank other forms of evil a greater problem.

Since the evil in our hearts is much more subtle, I think the damage can be far greater. I can bluff my way into places because I look like (generally speaking of course) a person, not a devil. I will walk right in the door of my home. I will walk in the office at work and no one will notice. I will blame others for my short comings and use my position to manipulate. I will hurt people, deeply, and not even know it. Even with my best intentions.

Self-awarness is a bit of a buzz term around me now. Are you? Self-aware? Do you know the damage you might cause today? The people you might hurt. Open the eyes of my heart Lord, I want to see me. Scary. Really Scary. Please Lord, may I walk with you and understand my potential for evil today. Remind me of the metaphorical devil mask in my heart.

Tough day in Columbia yesterday. Sinus infection. Too many rants from me and around me. Today will be better at world headquarters. Jim Slack will remind us of important things.