Elephants and Coaching

Justin, an eight year old from San Diego, weighed in with his favorite elephant joke. How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? There are footprints in the butter!

We overuse the expression: there is an elephant in the room. Usually we mean there is something big and obvious being ignored.

Working through issues with the help of another person is a great asset of being coaching. The downside is that we can go so deep we miss the elephant footprints in the butter. So, what is the coaching question of the day? What obvious, very big, gray, wrinkly thing, with big flappin' ears do you need to work on? Start there. Let me know how it goes!

Rock Hill and Greenville today.

Helping Others Pass You - My Evil Twin

How strange would it be? Tiger Woods pulls Rocco Mediate aside and says, dude, let me help you. We may face a playoff in a major again. I know that is what you want. I want to teach you how to beat me.

I am not talking about concession here. I am talking about teaching others to be better than you at something. Sounds strange?

I am reading a new book on coaching. Coaching for Performance by John Whitmore is a classic, often recommended book by coaching rock stars. First written in the early 90's, the human potential theme will spook some readers. Context, however, is everything, so for me, there is much to learn. On working with people Whitmore makes the following statement:

One of the best things we do for them is to assist them to surpass us.

Why do we shy away from this idea? How would this value help you take people to a higher level? I have a twin who is an evil leader. My dark side can often be seen through my desire to control people. There is another way my evil leadership twin shows up. My twin shows through a desire to maintain the belief of people around me that I am superior to them. A bit uncomfortable with this? Me too.

Listen to the old Apostle, Paul:

For now we really live, if you stand firm in the Lord (I Thes. 3:8)

You think Paul worried about people surpassing him? Don't think so. Look at the people around you differently today. God has placed you there for a reason. The reason is likely for the people who are physically positioned closest to you. Teach them how to beat you.

Bees Have Their Reasons

The coaching way is a bit of an obsession right now. Some things just make sense to me. I am talking about a coaching principle: people have perfectly good reasons for why they act the way they do. May not be all that profound to you. My anger index (if there is such a thing) goes down when I remember that.

Jerry Seinfeld made a convincing, highly motivated, Barry B. Benson in Bee Movie. Barry wanted to see what life was like outside the hive. Long story short, Barry, convinced a human (Renee Zellweger) of a terrible injustice. The injustice was humans using bees for their honey. A victorious class-action lawsuit follows. The results, however, is not what movie goers or Barry expected. Fun movie, if you like kids movies, and Seinfeld. I like both. Three stars out of five.

Our thinking is not always right. Neither are our actions. The vast majority of the time though, we have perfectly good reasons for doing what we do. My reasons may not make sense to you, but they do to me. My outcomes may be less than the best, but thinking I am stupid or calling me stupid does not help.

If you really want to help someone to the next level this week, first, spend time thinking about the perfectly good reasons they act the way they do. You will be surprised how that perspective lowers your anxiety and raises your empathy.

Fun weekend. Beautiful wedding. Fun games two nights in a row (New Yorker, Ruckus, and Taboo). Make your own pizza/sundae Saturday night with David, Krista, Owen, Aunt Mary Ann, Yvette, Anna, Abby, and me. Preached at Willow Sunday about a Scary, Merry Christmas and hung out at my favorite Sunday Night spot, Midtown Fellowship. Camden today plus World Headquarters. Big week, but, I can see land from here.